So yeah I've done another clean-up of all my posts. I wanna try and forget all about that person. Things just aren't meant to be. I wish I didn't feel so crap all the time. I just constantly feel drained and its times like these that I wish I had someone to turn to. Someone that I don't need to even say anything but they are just their for me no matter what. I suppose i could chat to the person that is closest to me but when they don't know everything about me its always hard to open up to them. I just wish I could have told her ages ago the truth about myself. Its all I want to do in the world but I just can't find the right time to do it. Will there ever be a right time?! Who knows. All I know is that I just don't want to do it by text or on msn. I want it to be face to face. I'm so scared how she will react though. What if she totally freaks out and never wants to speak to me again? I think it would actually break me if that happened. She's the only person in the world that actually knows me for who I am and if I was more truthful with her I think we'd become even closer. But when you don't see someone very often face-to-face how do you tell them? I have decided that whenever I finally tell someone that I will get a tattoo somewhere on my body. Just a small star. Nothing huge or ugly. I'd love to get it just on the back of my wrist but I know I'd just get sick of it and then what would I do....I'd be left with an ugly tattoo that I hate on somewhere that I look at all the time. I actually love this song I heard for the first time the other night. Its by Brett Dennen and is called Ain't No Reason and heres a couple of lines from it that mean the most to me:
there ain't no reasons things are this way its how they've always been and they intend to stay i can't explain why we live this way we do it everyday
I think this song really hits home with me. Maybe there ain't no reason I feel this way?
